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 Act 2 Scene 2: That’s a bit of an Anomaly!

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PostSubject: Act 2 Scene 2: That’s a bit of an Anomaly!   Act 2 Scene 2: That’s a bit of an Anomaly! I_icon_minitimeTue Nov 17, 2015 9:28 pm

Act 2 Scene 2

Scotland, John Logie Baird museum, Crew and Steve are in the museum.

Steve: What are we even looking for? A book?

Crew: No, apparently we’re looking for a clue, something that will help us find the book.

Steve: What the hell does that mean?

Crew: I don’t know, I’m in the dark as much as you are.

Steve: Not when you’ve got the torch. What if we don’t find it?

Crew: Let’s cross fuck-up bridge when we get there, in the meantime get looking.

Steve: But this is crazy, I’ve no idea what I’m looking for. Can’t see shit either, why didn’t we come here in the daytime and just pretend to be regular tourists, why are we playing criminals? I think this if fucked Crew.

Crew doesn’t say anything, just continues looking at the exhibits and trying to see if something sticks out.

Suddenly there’s a noise.

Crew immediately drops to the ground and hides with Steve.

Steve:whispering What the fuck was that?

Crew: Starts panicking but has the sense to do it quietly Oh my God, it’s the security guard what shall I do Steve what shall I do?

Steve: Get down.

Crew: still panicking but doing it quietly and in a ducking position What was that?

Steve: Sounded like tapping or something. They hear it again.

Crew: Maybe it’s a security guard.

Steve: Why is he tapping?

Crew: seriously Maybe he’s blind. Maybe it’s morse code for ‘who’s there?’

Steve: Are they likely to hire a blind security guard do you think?

Crew: They have really good hearing. And maybe other senses too that we don’t have because the brain compensates.

Steve: I don’t think that’s true.

Crew: It is Steve.

Steve: No I mean, developing senses we don’t have. You don’t turn into an X-Man when you go blind Crew.

Crew: How do you know?

Steve: Well let’s just say it’s unlikely.

Crew: But possible.

Steve: Shutup crew, we’re in the middle of Scotland in the middle of the night and in the middle of a ton of shit having broken into a museum looking for something that we don’t even know what it is, when we can hardly see anything anyway and apparently something is now trying to communicate with us using morse code for some reason.

Crew: still whispering and ducked on the floor I think it came from over there.

They crawl below the glass cases and towards where Crew thinks the tapping originated.

Steve: Hang on? Why are we doing this?

Crew: To find out what it is?

Steve: I thought we’d decided it was a blind security guard tapping out Morse code.

Crew: Steve, get real, do you really think they would employ a security guard to watch over a load of old useless 30 line TV’s. There’s no security guard Steve, it’s something else.

Steve: Whaa he stops himself and is dumbfounded, after a moment he manages to order his thoughts: Ok, so if there was no security guard why did you drop down on the floor?

Crew: I was scared.

Steve: But you said there was a security guard, I heard you.

Crew: I was pretending. It was fun. But I honestly was scared Steve.

Suddenly in the midst of their nonsense the tapping is heard again.

Steve: It’s coming from this cabinet.

Steve and Crew go up to the cabinet and see nothing remarkable except a crude hand puppet broadly designed as a human face with white makeup and big red lips.

Steve: Maybe it’s this thing. What is it?

Crew: Starts reading under torchlight "Stookie Bill is a puppet which Baird used in 1924 in transmission between the rooms of his Frith street laboratory. The puppet and another one called James have been called ‘the first television actors’ skipping this is interesting "The incandescent lights illuminating the subject to be televised generated so much heat that Baird couldn't use a human for the testing, so Stooky Bill was used. Eventually the hair became singed and the painted face became cracked by the heat."

A voice: I should say so, the gangly Scots maniac was trying to burn me alive. What did I do to him?

Crew: What the fuck was that?

Voice: Watch your filthy tongue you rascal I might not be as big as you are but I’ll give you a knocking you won’t forget.

Steve: Is that you crew?

Crew: No, it’s Stookie Bill

Steve: What the fuck!

Stookie Bill: I won’t have that language. It might be normal for you rascals but I come from a more genteel age.

Steve: looks at Stookie Bill Ok, are you trying to tell me it’s a talking puppet. That’s a bit of an anomaly!

Crew: judicially Apparently. So what’s going on Stookie Bill? Have we gone mad or are you real.

Stookie Bill: You stupid scruffy boy of course I’m real, but don’t take that for a validation of your sanity, looking at the pair of you’re probably nuttier than a pair of conkers.

Crew: laughing So what do you? Do you just sit in there all the time.

Stookie Bill: Ahh it’s not so bad in here. Very restful, sometimes people come and look at me and smile or give me a funny look, especially when I say hello.

Steve: I bet they do. I imagine you’ll give someone a heart attack.

Stookie: Yeah, I did that once. Laughing I nearly got caught, fortunately she died and didn’t tell anyone.

Crew: You killed someone?

Stookie: I was only saying hello. 

Steve: You’re not supposed to say hello, you’re not supposed to talk at all. Why are you talking?

Stookie Bill: Well before I became the world’s first actor I was used in séances. There was a medium Babs McNaughty who used to project the spirits into me and make me talk. However she died one night in the midst of just such a spiritual extrapolation from witch’s apoplexy and left me here. Baird was present at the time and he swiped me away thinking I might be able to help him with his own attempts to find a science based mechanism for communicating with the spirit realm.

Steve: Wow.

Crew: But who are you really? Whose spirit were you?

Stookie Bill: Oh I don’t know, it was such a long time ago and I’ve grown quite used to being a wooden puppet. It’s not a bad life as I said before. Giving people heart attacks occasionally, watching the world turn into a madhouse from within the safety of my little wooden and glass home. You couldn’t meet a happier talking puppet.

Steve: Home? So you were the puppet Baird used huh? What was he like?

Stookie Bill: Stupid Scotsman. Mechanical television! Trust a Scot to try save money on the blasted electricity bill by not using a cathode tube.

Crew: Stookie Bill, we were sent here to look for something that could help us find what we’re looking for. We think that must be you.

Stookie Bill: Well yes, I suppose it must be. What are you searching for?

Steve: John Logie Baird’s lost journals.

Stookie Bill: Ahh, those. Laughing the old duffer lost them.

Steve: Well where did he put them?

Stookie Bill: He hid them in his lab because he came over all puritanical and frightened of what he had discovered. Silly old fool.

Crew: Hid them where?

Stookie Bill: Oh I don’t know, do I look like his biographer?  Somewhere in that attic, 22 Firth Street London West 1. Is the precise address.

Steve: Can you tell us anything else?

Stookie Bill: That’s all I know about those notebooks, he just hid them somewhere and forgot about them and eventually he forgot what he was even supposed to forget about. Except I remember what was in them and I remember the note he wrote on the front to remind himself if he ever did find his lost book again:  “Never attempt to create this machine” with his own initials underneath. A covenant with his daft Presbyterian self. So that’s where you have to go now, back down to London. Give my regards to the old city.

Steve: Do you miss London life?

Stookie Bill: Oh I had some gay old years of course but a city like that nowadays would do no good for an old poorly painted wooden puppet like me. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. No, you young gadabouts go back to your smoky home and leave old Stookie Bill to his cabinet of glass and his memories.

Crew: Ok Stookie Bill. Take care of yourself.

Steve: Yeah, cheerio Stookie.

Stookie Bill: Au revoir.

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Act 2 Scene 2: That’s a bit of an Anomaly!
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