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 Act 1 Scene 4 What's normal anyway?

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Join date : 2014-01-07

PostSubject: Act 1 Scene 4 What's normal anyway?   Tue Nov 17, 2015 8:17 pm

Act 1 Scene 4

Sarah Clarke’s niece’s house. Vicky Clarke with her friends Loz and June. They’ve just downloaded the latest single from gender-enhanced rapper 2Diks which they are listening to.

June: looking through Vicky Clarke’s playlist Have you got any Vil8R?

Vicky: No way, that stuff's just too weird.

June: Yeah but it’s cool. Weird is cool nowadays, don’t you know?

Vicky Clarke: Is it?

Loz: I don’t like him much either. He IS weird.

Vicky Clarke: I don’t think it’s true that 2Diks has two dicks. I think it's just a marketting gimic.

June: He does. I saw a picture on the internet. One is black and the other is white. He even has a name for them, he calls them his boys Boaz and Jachin. Although he was in fact born with only one testicle.

June: After a moment of silence  Yeah but I don’t listen to him for his dicks, I don’t care about that. I mean, people still love Michael Jackson.

Loz: They love him even more now. Even I love him and I don’t know why, I’ve never even heard his music.

June: Never heard Jacko? Are you kidding. How is that possible?

Loz: Well maybe I have, I don’t know. But I don’t know what songs he does. I may have heard him without knowing it was him.

Vicky Clarke: What about Bad, Thriller?

Loz: Bad Thriller? Why was wrong with it?

June: No, it’s two different albums, not the name of one album. What about The Man in the Mirror?

Vicky: And the Sun and News of the World too. One minute he’s sleeping in an oxygen tent, the next he’s accused of being a paedophile, then he’s dangling babies. Then he died.

Loz: Well it all sounds a bit weird. I’d prefer it if I’d never heard of him. Why do I want to listen to a paedo’s music?

June: I don’t know but everyone does anyway. My mum says paedophiles are victims and shouldn’t be persecuted but she tells me if a man touches me I should kick him extremely hard in the balls.  She even taught me how to do it. To swing my leg right back like a ballerina and then kick him right up in the balls. She keeps reminding me, :’You have to follow through with the kick as if you’re booting  a football’.

Loz: Maybe that’s why they call them balls.

They start laughing.

June:  But really it’s his two balls which didn’t separate properly in the womb so he just has this one big ball. But technically he was born with only one ball.

Vicky Clarke: Why call himself 2Diks, Big-Ball would be a much better name.

June: Yeah. Maybe he didn’t think about it.

Loz: Why does he have two dicks anyway? Why did he get the extra dick?

June: becoming quite serious and sincere It’s a political statement of his conscience on the issue of conscious politics.

Loz: What does that mean?

June: It means that he supports the freedom of people to do whatever they like. So he totally supports gays and transgender people.

Loz: Er, and?

June: Well that means he’s a good guy doesn’t it? He supports people’s freedom to do what they want to each-other and themselves and he supports their freedom with an extra dick in the name of transgender solidarity. Why should we ever have anyone telling us what we can and can’t do with our bodies?

Loz: Well if anyone tries to mess with you we know what you’re going to do with his body.

Vicky Clarke: Shouts GOOOOAAAALLL!

They all start laughing again.

June: But seriously though, because it IS serious. He says anyone who wants a dick should be allowed to have one, that sounds fair doesn’t it? He said God oppressed some people by giving them dicks when they didn’t want them, so they have to pay for transgender surgery to have it removed, causing them discomfort and incontinence, or not giving them a dick and making them into girls when inside they’re really men.  

Loz: Wait a minute, you said he blames God?

June: Of course, who else made the mess we’re all living in?

They are all quiet for a moment.

Vicky: But that sounds a bit weird though. Chopping dicks off or having an extra dick and bringing God into it all. To me the guy just sounds crazy like there’s something wrong with his head.

June: Well yeah, there is. He’s a schizophrenic, but there’s nothing wrong with being schizophrenic. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being gay or black. We’re not allowed to judge someone based on what they are.

Loz: Looking puzzled  Yeah but they call it mental-illness don’t they? If you’re ‘ill’ you’re not ‘well’ you’re not ‘normal’ are you?

June: laughing But what IS normal anyway? We’re all different. It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white.

Vicky: raising an eyebrow Are you sure you’ve never heard a Michael Jackson song?

June: Why?

Vicky: Because that was one of his most famous lyrics.

June: “What is normal anyway?”

Loz: No, the other bit.

June: Oh. Well who knows maybe Jackson had got into me without me knowing.

Vicky: Maybe he did if you ever went to Neverland and let him get you drunk.

They start laughing except for Loz.

Loz: Gross. But what is all this stuff about God. Is 2Diks religious or something?

June: Well in fact he is just the opposite.

Vicky: What’s the opposite of religion? There isn’t an opposite thing, unless it’s science or something.

June: It’s not science it’s Satanism. 2Diks is a Satanist who follows the work of Aleister Crowley.

Vicky: Aleister Crowley, I’ve heard of him. He was a cool and powerful guy, a wizard before Harry Potter made it fashionable to curse people.

June: So do you like Aleister Crowley too?

Vicky: not really thinking about it too much Er, yeah, I guess so.

June: Because he was all about supporting people’s freedom. He was also an advocate of the rights of children not to be constrained and controlled by their parents and allowed to be free.

Vicky: Yeah, that sounds good to me.

June: So do you two want to join?

Loz: Join what?

June: The Children of the Temple.

Loz: What are they?

June: They’re a kind of Hogwarts school of magic which isn’t just a building but is everywhere. It’s just like Harry Potter, they’re all around and the Muggles never suspect a thing of all the amazing stuff going on in our world. We also go to these Nature and sunshine camps in beautiful remote areas where everyone has a wonderful time. Children and adults altogether enjoying themselves and doing anything they can dream of. So do you want to join and find out or not?

Vicky: Ok why not. We get to go on holidays and stuff?

June: Oh yeah, loads of holidays. And I shouldn’t tell you this before you’ve actually joined, but if you get into trouble at school for any reason, then all you have to do is wink at the headmaster and he will arrange everything so you don’t get into any trouble at all. 

Loz: Surprised and a bit shocked Really? Wink at the headmaster?

June: Yeah, and he even winks back.

Vicky: Wow, so how do we join?

June: If you’re serious about this then I will tell you.

Vicky: Go on then.

June: You have to go to the Deadwood at midnight wearing a red hat. This means you are offering yourself to them and they will expose themselves to you.

Vicky: Like flashers? What do you mean expose themselves to you?

June: I’m not allowed to tell you anything else. Everything has to be a surprise, that’s how it works.

Loz: Well in that case it won’t work because you’ve just ruined it by telling us there’s going to be a surprise.

June: Oh believe me, you WILL be surprised.

Vicky: So it’s still going to be a surprise even though we are expecting a surprise.

June: Yes.

Loz: Wow, whatever it is they do must be quite surprising!

June: It is. So do you want to join?

Loz and Vicki both shrug their assent.

June: Ok tonight! We’ll go tonight.

Vicky: Alright then, let’s do it. Isn’t it a bit dangerous though to hang around the woods at midnight?

June: It is for normal people, but not for people like us.

Loz: Really? Wow! We’re going to be real witches! Brilliant.

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