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 Act 4 Scene 6: The weird spooky creepy bastard.

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PostSubject: Act 4 Scene 6: The weird spooky creepy bastard.   Sun Sep 10, 2017 9:31 am

John Hampton: How long is she going to be out for?

Guard: Eh?

John Hampton: I mean, how long is she gonna be unconscious?

Guard: Why do you care? You brought her here dintya?

John Hampton: Well she gave me her number.

Guard: Incredulously What? So y’brought her here?

John Hampton: Well I thought it was for the best. For her I mean. When she told me she’d escaped from this place I thought it was probably best I brought her back here. And then we can maybe take things from there.

Guard: Oh you old romantic. So you were gonna date a girl in the nuthouse were you?

John Hampton: I dunno. I suppose so. What’s it to you?

The Doctor makes a sign to the guard to stop talking who returns to his position at the checkpoint, he then turns to John Hampton with his arm outstretched with a handshake.

Dr Samphen: Thankyou for your help. He notices that John seems to answer the subtle Tailor’s query handshake. He tries another handshake which John also seems able to answer, then another which John also answers with a subtle press of the thumb, until Dr Samphen is all out of handshakes. Quietly and under his breath Forgive the drones, they’re neither paid for intelligence nor sensitivity. I am sorry that a dear friend of yours should by the caprice of misfortune find her way here. I will naturally do all I can to assist a fellow Tailor. My name is Doctor Samphen, I work with the esteemed Doctor Vale here. The work we do is of a special and discrete nature as I’m sure you can appreciate.

John Hampton: Naturally. But the girl, how long is she likely to remain here?

Dr Samphen: Well personally speaking I cannot tell you. I’ve never seen her before to be honest so I can’t comment on her particular case. Must be someone my colleague Doctor Vale is giving his particular care to. Though I’ve never seen her here before, and that’s surprising because I usually get to look over all the young ladies here.

John Hampton: trying to suppress his disgust Is that right?

Dr Samphen: Oh but forgive me, since such an esteemed fellow Tailor has a particular interest in the young lady you can be assured than any intentions I may have from here on in will remain strictly honorable. Confidentially I say though, she is darned pretty. She may be loopy but I don’t blame you at all for following her up. She’s dashed pretty, with that blonde frizzy hair and red cheeks. After a moment’s consideration Though that may have been the effect of the Tazer rifle.

John Hampton: trying to repress a rising anger No, her hair is normally frizzy and her cheeks are, as it goes usually red like that. Yes, she is pretty. Poor thing. Hampton seems to be having some trouble playing down an urge to strike Dr Samphen and knock him out there and then.

Suddenly there is some activity at the guard checkpoint.

Guard: shouting over Ere, did someone order a pizza?

Dr Samphen: Not that I know of. I’ll just check with Dr Vale.

Dr Samphen: to John, would you excuse me for just a moment.

John Hampton: Not at all.

Dr Samphen withdraws into the facility using his magnetised ID card to allow him entry, while two orderlies carry Sarah Clarke’s unconscious body inside.

John Hampton: Bloody hell, that’s two we’ve got to rescue now. This is so botched.

The guard is overheard asking the pizza delivery agent who has removed his helmet ‘what flavor pizza is that?’

Pizza guy: Wham and pineapple.

Guard: Ham and pineapple?

Pizza delivery person: ‘Wham’ he strikes the guard instantly unconscious and pineapple.

The pizza guy quickly scuttles to John carrying his pizza box.

John Hampton: Do you have to do that routine? The ‘wham’ and pineapple bit?

Pizza guy: Spare me my quips, it makes me feel like I’m in an action movie. It’s a comforting delusion in a rough job.

John Hampton: How do you do that anyway? Knock them out cold like that?

Pizza delivery person: Go for ganglions. I don’t see people anymore just a nervous system with plenty of targets. Any force striking those sensitive area results in instant shut-down. Bangs ‘em out flat, just like that clicks his fingers, you can easily kill a man that way, but the courts tend to frown on that, then adds as ruefully as an after-thought even if it IS in self defence.

John Hampton: Right, you hide beside the door, when he comes out, take him down.

The pizza delivery guy takes his position beside the door, while John remains visible.

Dr Samphen comes out.

Dr Samphen: I’ve just spoken to Dr Vale. He knows every girl who passes through here, he’s just checked your friend out and he’s never seen her in his life.

Pizza guy: Pops up and is about to strike I say, who are you? he fixes his eyes on the pizza delivery person where have you come from?

The pizza delivery person is caught in Dr Samphen’s powerful gaze and is powerless to act.

Dr Samphen: Why are you here? Noone ordered pizza I just asked. What’s even in your box? You’re not some kind of strange spy are you because if you are it’s down to the treatment room we go. Turning to John Is this man with you?

John Hampton: there was something uncannily forceful about Dr Samphen’s question which for a split second almost made John forget to lie He’s a pizza guy. What’s my name? Side-salad? He joked through nerves but had the distinct impression that if Dr Samphen asked him again he would be inclined to tell him everything.

Dr Samphen opens the pizza box and finds that it does actually contain a hot ham and pineapple Pizza.

Dr Samphen: Forgive me, one becomes more than a little paranoid in this line of work sometimes, one never quite knows who’s who. But no one here ordered pizza, reflecting unless it was one of the orderlies. But they ought to know better than that.

Pizza guy: One of your patients?

Dr Samphen: None of them are allowed their mobile phones. I don’t see how they could have contacted you, but admittedly some of them have been remarkably resourceful in the past in smuggling them in. How much is it?

Pizza guy: 12,50, plus 3 pounds delivery. 13:50.

Dr Samphen reaches into his pocket and draws out fifteen pounds, he gives it to the pizza delivery person.  Ok? Are we all square now?

The pizza delivery person appears mesmorised and entirely in the control of the gaze of Dr Samphen.

Pizza guy: Right, I’ll be off then. But hesitated as if there’s something he has forgotten.

Dr Samphen: Right. On your way then.

With that the pizza guy goes over to his motorbike with fresh resolve and drives away.

Dr Samphen: Observing the pizza guy ride away That’s a pretty high powered motorbike he’s got, for a pizza delivery man. Still one never knows. One mustn’t prejudge a man based on the uniform he wears. Then after a moment of pondering. Perhaps he stole it.
He looks over to the guard check point.

Dr Samphen: What happened to the guard? Confound the man.

After a moment looking out towards the deserted guard point he turns to John.

Dr Samphen: Well this is quite the mystery. The young lady you brought to us appears unknown to us, either now or in recent living memory.

Again John Hampton felt an almost irresistible urge to tell Dr Samphen the truth and it took him a supreme act of mental strength to keep quiet.

John Hampton: What will you do with her?

Dr Samphen: Well, there isn’t much we can do with her. We don’t have any legal rights over her. She’ll be coming round soon so I’ll ask her who she is myself. It doesn’t usually take me long to get to the heart of the matter.

John Hampton: visibly concerned Can I see her?

Dr Samphen: Of course, I’ll just have a word with her first see what’s going on, then if all is well and it’s just some harmless understanding with a lewd wink I can release her to your care.

John Hampton: Let me see her now, maybe I can find out what’s going on.

Dr Samphen: Don’t worry, I can handle all that. I have a gift, some call it hypnotic suggestion. They used to call me Samphen Spooky, the weird creepy bastard at school. But I used to set them at each-other’s throats with just a word and a look. They knew it was me but they couldn’t do a thing about it. Now a playground curse makes me one of the most revered psychiatric specialists in the world. Don’t worry about the girl, I won’t touch her. I usually get an upstairs feel-up at least and much more if they respond to my suggestions, otherwise I leave them alone. I’m a hypnotist not a rapist after-all eh? He laughs a dry cynical mirthless chuckle. But I promise I’ll leave the girl to you, I can even make a ‘suggestion’ in your favour. When she gets out of her she’ll be a like a hungry dog looking for a bone.

John Hampton: Thanks. John can barely conceal his disgust but remembered that this is precisely the mentality of the people here used to associate with and was precisely the reason he left the organization several years ago.

Dr Samphen: Anything to ease the road of a fellow tailor.

Dr Samphen makes to leave and reenter the building.

John Hampton: Just one more thing desperately playing for time.

Dr Samphen: What is it?

Just then there is the sound of a high powered motorbike engine, the pizza guy makes a sudden dramatic return, smashing his bike through the flimsy security barrier. He drives the bike straight towards the centre and straight at the figure of Dr Samphen.
Dr Samphen starts dramatically gesticulating and trying to command the pizza guy. The pizza guy advances towards Dr Samphen and despite Dr Samphen’s attempts to control the pizza guy with his voice and will. The pizza guy just ignores him and strikes him in the chest sending him crumpled instantly to the ground.

Pizza guy: Spooky weird bastard.

John Hampton: Just in time. He can be very persuasive can the good doctor. How did you resist his persuasion?

Pizza guy: taking off his helmet Eh? With this helmet on I can’t hear a bloody word y’say. I got back to the main road and realized I’d just been hypnotized. Cheeky bastard. Looking down serves him right. Fucking hypnotists are the lowest of the low. Scum. I’d bring back hanging for these fuckers but instead they put the cunts on the television.

John Hampton: reaching down and snatched the magnetic pass-card from Dr Samphen’s hand. Thankyou Dr Creepy bastard.

They use the magnetic card to enter the building until John Hampton remembers something.

John Hampton: Y’know when you punch someone in the ganglions? How long do they tend to stay unconscious?

Pizza guy: Well, if they don’t end up dead, then it’s usually about five minutes.

John Hampton: Ok, well Dr Weird has just been freshly punched so we’ve got a full five minutes with him, but the guard, assuming you haven’t killed him, we’ve probably only got about two and a half minutes left on the clock.

Pizza Guy: So what’s the worst that can happen?

John Hampton: Well the police will no doubt be called, and maybe we might get hypnotized for Doctor twisted fuck’s pleasure, so we’re looking at assault charges, breaking and entering. I’ll probably lose my security clearance and you’ll probably lose access to you kids. Failure or fuckup is not an option. We’ve got to get out of this shinier than Mr Sheen’s freshly shined shiny shoes.

Just then they see something impact on the wall outside the building which appears to spark and fizzle with blue bolts of electricity.

John Hampton: Shit, the tazer rifle guy.

Pizza guy: I’m on it.

With that the pizza guy is gone with a deadly silent sprint and a few moments later he returns with a Tazer rifle.

Pizza guy: Never played with one of these before. Can I keep it?

John Hampton: Jesus, you got hit he pulls out the wires of a Tazer barb attached to the pizza guy’s shoulder didn’t you notice?

Pizza guy: I felt something but at the time I thought a bee had stung me or something.

John Hampton: Bloody hell. The SAS don’t mess about with your training do they?

Pizza guy: Maniacs. They turn you into a madman.

John Hampton: But a madman who can brush off a Tazer rifle like it’s a bee sting. That’s almost worth paying your taxes for.

They use the Doctor’s card to enter the building. After a moment of peering through windows they find the room containing Sarah Clarke and open it using the Doctor’s magnetic card.

Sarah Clarke: Oh God, they haven’t caught you as well have they?

John Hampton: No, it’s all going to plan, pulling out the tazer barb from the pizza guy’s shoulder. More or less.

Sarah Clarke: What happened? I just woke up here with the weird doctors asking my my name and saying they’d never seen me before.

Pizza Guy: You got hit by a lazer rifle. Feels a bit like a bee-sting.

Sarah Clarke: I didn’t feel anything. Not even the ground where I must have hit it nursing her head and a small bruise. Where’s Vicky?

Pizza guy: checking his watch matter of factly 90 seconds before the guard wakes up.

John Hampton: Can you move?

Sarah Clarke: Yeah I’m fine.

John Hampton: Let’s try to find Vicki. We’d better split up. Indicating the pizza guy you go with Sarah. Try upstairs. I’ll go this way. Count down a minute and if you haven’t found her we’d better regroup at the entrance and take it from there.

They split up, John goes down the opposite corridor and Sarah and Pizza guy run upstairs.

Sarah Clarke: Vicky Vicky, it’s your auntie Sarah, where are you? She bangs on all the doors as she moves quickly past until she hears a reply from down corridor.

Vicky Clarke: I’m here auntie Sarah.

They go over to door and open it with the magnetic card. Vicky runs out and into the arms of Sarah Clarke.


Dr Vale makes an appearance at the exit just as they are coming downstairs.


Dr Vale: Who are you people? What the hell are you doing in my hospital.

John Hampton: Time to try your new toy I think.

With that Pizza guy fires the Tazer rifle at point blank range, instantly sending Dr Vale into a sprawling collapsed mess on the floor.

Sarah Clarke: Let’s get out of here Vicky.

Vicky Clarke: My name’s Jenny auntie Sarah. Didn’t you know.

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