Re The Search for Beauty post

Just reading this again - I think you'd posted it up on Facebook a while back as your new opening chapter.

It’s like I can be perfectly happy in myself when alone, but when I get into a relationship there are points where it can actually make me less happy in myself, as I'll magnify minor indiscretions or slivers of perceived wrongdoing or neglectfulness towards me.

You can tell I'm having one of Those Days today.

Yeah. I'm the same.... When I'm in a relationship, after the bliss and fun of the first 6 months you start to be subject to the law of diminishing returns.

Also you find yourself being criticised and in turn criticising your partner, struggling with conflict and negativity....

I've opted out..... haven't had a relationship for a while and as a result haven't had to deal with any external negativity in my personal life.... haven't had to do something I don't want to do and haven't felt compromised or defeated....(lol this is slightly turning into a MGTOW post).

I'm happier like this.... I would love to meet the right person.....at least I think I would, but even then 'the right person' one year down the line will just become another source of conflict and negativity. I did have the perfect girl....and one year later, this is just what happened... perhaps it's innevitable in human relationships. I don't even think it's a gender thing, I have known best friends go nuts and hate each other after 6 months of living together.

I dunno, I think there are people who can make their long term relationships work but I think that means surrendering your sense of self, your goals and your priorities....and I have no intention of ever doing this, not in this world or the next.....

Because sometime.....you just ARE right.....lol

Knowing when to be selfish at the right times. Times when I should've been selfish I've gone along with it and had a bad time, in a sort of shroud of mild negativity.

And I'm often selfish when I should join in little drink ups and stuff. But for me it's music comes first most times, has to be really until I'm pro. 

If I was 21 not 31 maybe it'd be slightly different...